


Saruman sets up a stall in a field of Old Toby, or Saruman's fight against Hobbits' pipeweed smoking

by fuzzybooks



Series: Saruman's Fight Against Pipeweed [1]
Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Gen, Humor, assumed drug use, mentions drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 12:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzybooks/pseuds/fuzzybooks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saruman sets up a stall in a field of Old Toby, he's got pamphlets and everything, though he is lacking a venue for his meetings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saruman sets up a stall in a field of Old Toby, or Saruman's fight against Hobbits' pipeweed smoking

 

The intruder near the Shire’s borders was all the gossip of course. He had set up a stall on Old Toby’s field, spouting nonsense about addled minds or some such rot. 

Needless to say, the inhabitants were in a frenzy. 

“How do we throw him out?” One of the Bigfoot’s asked. There were were murmurs of agreement.

“No matter, what is he doing here? Why does he keep giving us these papers?” Master Bracegirdle asked, showing the gathered a bundle of papers titled:

 

  
_Pipeweed, The Dangers of_   
_How to get over your addiction, in 3 small, no pun intended, steps._   
_5 Ways to detect harmful mushrooms_   


 

“What is this? Does he think we can’t identify mushrooms on our own? The nerve of these Big Folk!” Shouted Farmer Maggot from his corner.

The Thain shook his head. The situation was getting out of hand, he hated to admit it, but they were in need of Mad Baggins. The non-Took members of the council would no doubt disapprove, but they needed someone who understood what went on in the heads of these tall, eccentric people. 

-

“I don’t see how I could help, the man seems utterly mad.” Bilbo protested. 

“Exactly!” Lobelia chimed in, “That’s right up your alley!” He sighed, rubbing his temples. This wasn’t going to end well.

-

“I don’t think you fully understand the severity, Master Baggins. I have made sure to make plans for our meetings, though I don’t have a location ye-” 

“No, Master Wizard. You will leave the Shire, you presence is not wanted! We are prepared to fight you on this! You are trespassing!”

-

As Saruman packed up and left the land of the Halflings he sighed and muttered to himself.

“Some people just can’t see when help is right in front of them.” He turned and headed down the road leading to Bree. “Maybe it’s time I give Radagast a visit. If I’m lucky I could probably have an intervention with him and Gandalf at the same time, would save time.” 


End file.
